Tuesday, December 04, 2012

It is Crazy Here

I want to start by saying why I put the word verification back on my comment page.  I got 30 or more spam comments a day and it became too much.  I know that my friends and potential friends do not like the verification but I had no choice.  Even without your comments, I know you are there.

This is a quick note to let you know what is going on here in NY.  There are so many claims that the company has hired Lots of independent adjusters and moved staff claim reps from other assignments around the country.  Hotels are at a premium so unless you work for a company like I do that has the resources and manpower to obtain hotel rooms,  you are in trouble.

Confession Time....I admitted something to myself today. I have always been good at defusing angry people or helping undecided people make decisions.  My first real job while in college was with Dreyfus Mutual funds.  I started on the floor and got moved to new product development after my graduation from college. Our phone calls were randomly monitored, one day  I was asked if I did not mind having my conversations taped for training purposes.  I did not think that I was very good but if they wanted to do it...  I was also asked to be part of the recruitment team.  The reason I was given was that I had a way of taking what people were really passionate about even though it had nothing to do with the product and making them believe so much in me that I could sell them the Brooklyn Bridge.  It sounded crazy but I was getting paid and promoted quickly.

When I started working at my current job, I guess the ability followed me and I use it on  angry insureds.  We are constantly reinspected on this job, on my last assignment when I came into the feedback session it was full of manager's, I was told they had no finding but   the group wanted to know  what I do to deny a claim because the insured's spent more time wanting to talk about me than  the denial and no one was angry, disappointed but not angry.  I told them the best I could what I did  since I do not know but  that it takes me longer to deny a claim than to pay one.  I have to get the insured to believe in me and once  that is done the denial is easy.

Two things happened today  that recalled all this.  ....

My first appointment was with a lady that told me her best friend had died that morning and she had been told the night before that her husband of 60 years only had a few days to live.   When I had initially talked to her she was angry because she knew she had all this damage to her roof and damage inside but  she would not get a new roof.   I did my inspection while she cried on the phone to someone.  There was no damage to her roof and she had minor damage inside.  I do not ever remember doing it but I found myself consoling her and getting her to talk about what a wonderful life she had with her husband, putting my arms around her to let her cry and somehow maneuvering the conversation where I wanted it.  I told her that she needed to go to her daughter's when I left because she should not be alone and even threw in how worried I would be about her all day. When I left she thanked me  for looking at her roof and interior.  Did I feel anything the entire time....NO. I just said and did what I had to do to get the results I wanted.   That sounds so cold but I realized that I felt nothing.

I left that appointment for one I dreaded because on the phone he was angry that he had been told he had no coverage for his trees, and he had to get his electronics looked at by a professional.  I got out of the car and he started.  I find that I am very quiet during these situation and something in me starts looking for something I can latch on so I can take control.  During his tantrum  he mentioned how old he would be in January ...that was all the opening I needed, my birthday was in January and we were the same age.  It helped that as it turned out we were born the same day.   Needless to say, my appointment that should have been 45 minutes tops took three hours.  I had a difficult time trying to stir the conversation back and paying him for what I could.  I looked at trophies, picture albums (he was a handsome man in his youth), had his special coffee brew, got invited to dinner, talked about religion, the philosophy of life, our children and the list kept growing.    He tried every thing he could to keep me there.  The denial was made through all this but he acted as if he did not care.

I realized as I was going to the office that I am snake oil salesman on stage.  I will say anything to get the results I want.  I do not feel anything,  I just do it.  No, it does not work every time but 9 times out of 10 it does.  I seem to do the same thing in a way with people I call friend. I am not really myself, I am what they want me to be.  The real me wants to just go somewhere and hide.  Don't let anyone get to close to hurt me in  word or deed .  If I laugh a lot, then no one bothers to look inside.  Was what I did today fair to these people?  I left them believing in someone that was not real.   I am true to my children, maybe because I know they will accept me with all my faults and never judge me, they just love me unconditionally.

As you can see, I am down on me today. I was really upset after I realized  what I have become. I am pretty sure what caused it but I am not sure when it took over my life.  I am hoping that once I retire and I meet  new people, I can start to trust and be myself what ever myself is. I am looking forward to meeting the real Louise. Recently, I told an RVer that I wanted to buy a copy of the children's book his wife had written for a Christmas present.  I learned that he shipped it before my check arrived. I sent  him a note thanking him for trusting me,  he wrote back.....trust  is a good thing.

Back to not sleeping....I hate taking sleep aides but I can not function on a couple hours sleep every night.

On a happy note,179 days ,15 hours, 48 minutes, 23 seconds until.......................


longdog2 said...

I'm hoping that exhaustion and depression from working in this very difficult situation are talking instead of the real you. The "you" that you have described is certainly not the person I have glimpsed in your blog or on the forum in the past. You have always sounded like a caring person.

Louise said...

You are so very right. I am tired, frustrated and just miserable. I think I was voicing it on this blog because it was the only outlet I had. I am sorry. I was going to delete it but I need to be able to read it from time to time just to get my act together.

Margie and Roger said...

You will hopefully find retired life better. It lets you be free to be the real you. In the business world we had to become someone else. For me, I felt I had to play the politics game. It worked and I had a good job, but I was so glad to escape that phony world at retirement. Life is so much better now. Good luck with getting your new RV.

lopo said...

Louise, I found your blog through the Women RV forum. Thanks for the nice comment about my quickie decorating job on my little old class C that I'm going to take to Alaska very soon.
I just have to say that I totally understand what you're saying in this post. I owned and ran a small beach resort for 21 years, and those small places are 24/7. 24/7 for 21 years is a lot of hours of dealing directly with the public, and keeping people happy.
I don't think you're a non-feeling person at all, nor am I, but I can make a sale the same way you can deny a claim, and if people feel better because of an encounter with us, where's the harm? Snake oil salesman isn't correct because you weren't selling them something under false pretenses, and neither did I. You listened to them, and people are so rarely actually listened to that this is huge in reducing their stress when sucky bad things have been happening to them; I imagine that many times when you've had to deny a claim, it's often that they've just had a lot of crap happening all at once and it's overwhelming, and man, when I'm going through a time like that, I'd sure appreciate being denied by someone who was nice to me than by one more rude or mean person.

So when do you make the final move into your gorgeous new RV? What did you name it? Will this mean full-timing on the road, quitting work or retiring or what? I can just imagine how tough your downsizing has been, but the little book called "Clear your Clutter" by karen Kingston, I think is her name, might give you some new insight in the process and why it's important. I love that little book.
I'm so glad you joined this women RV forum about the same time I've joined. I'm Lopo on the forum, and although my name is Lois, Lopo is what one of my best friends calls me so I answer to that readily!
I know this comment is months after you made this post, so I know you're feeling better. Stay in touch, and I don't think you're ready for Geritol and neither am I! :)